Creative Press Release Needed for Political Video Game - Urgent (1995130)

I'm looking for someone to write a highly creative, edgy, attention grabbing press release for my newest app "Kick the Politician" which is basically a video game that allows you to release steam by beating the $h!t out of some of the world's most loved and hated politicians and bad guys. Take a look: [login to view URL] I'm looking for 3 different people to write 3 different, professional press releases and I need it done TODAY (The presidential election is in just a few days and we need to get this out ASAP) Bid fairly and we'll have a lot of work for you