Help me write something

Hey. My name is Anirudh A. Dwivedi. My friends used to call me DVD. I don't know why they found it funny but I took it in my stride nonetheless because now I'm a vintage piece of item for the computer world. Taking myself lightly I'm a self depreciating person. I don't mind if anybody has a few laughs because of me. Apart from all that, I've 2 years of experience as a copywriter and can write those 'crazy minded' articles for you. After all, even I'll have a few laughs for writing it. Better than that, you will be paying me for it. Good if it's fine with you. Because nowadays throwing the house garbage down in the building dump drums doesn't fetch enough money for me. I do it for free. For my mum. Basically I'm my home's garbage boy. And my maid gets more respect than me now. Because all this 'clickety click' and 'tak tak' on the laptop doesn't make any sense to my mum. That's good. Because no one knows I'm abusing my elder brother through morse code. Yay!

Hello there! I was going through your proposal. The moment I read "crazy mind" my mind paused "Hey! You know this guy" and I realized it's me. Well, I can write some funny stuff with my humor and sarcasm added. I would really love it if it's for a long time. If you find me fit, revert back to me. We shall discuss. Hope you award me the bid. Thank You