Google Analytics Conversions, Funnels, and Dashboard Setup

We have a shopping cart site, built in Magento. We will be running ads via adwords and facebook driving traffic to landing pages and the main site. We need our Google analytics dashboards setup and all conversion tracking set so we see the appropriate funnels, conversions, and other tools GA allows. We are working with a marketing company who has provided tracking pixels (already being installed) we just need to set up the reporting to see the results. The ideal freelancer will have done this multiple times and be a relative expert in Google Analytics setup, dashboards, reporting, and tracking conversions, funnels, etc. In your response please begin with the word "Pineapple" that way I'll know you read this entire project description and didn't just copy/paste your proposal response.