Create a beach/vacation type wordpress template

STOP! Before you send me anything read this completely! I am looking for something under $100, unless you can convince me I should pay more! I just wasted a day getting responses to my projects that are written in words I do not understand! I have received over 100 emails and people have called my website sales department! I am very aggregated with this service already! I don't know code or have any idea what a JOOMLA is! So do waste your breath talking code to me... I have also been on hold now with customer service for 30 minutes! It says I am #3 in line... What a joke! I will NOT hire a person that responds with just, "We are ready to complete your project" or anything like it! If you respond make sure you put the word "Tommy" in the title or I will pass you by! I am a WordPress SEO person and not a designer or code person. You will need to show me how to make this template work! I have built a complex blog with a forum! There are 130 plus pages and I currently use Suffusion. I would like to keep it and add the new template to it. I have lots of ongoing projects and don't want to go through all this crap again! There is a good chance that we can work together on this huge internet project! I need a beach and sand type background. The site sells timeshare vacation packages that are all inclusive and for 5 star resorts! We have 24 resorts in Mexico, 4 in Jamaica, and 6 in the Dominican Republic! Having the ocean, shells, beach, furniture, and stuff like that would be nice! It has to look nice so we can enhance our sales. We are ranking #1 on Google for many keyword phrases and are NOT seeing the conversion that we should be seeing! We need help to make that happen and then we will have all the resources to do a much more extensive layout and design. Associated with the site is a second site and 25+ social networks that will need design work! I am not a designer and need help with all this! Some more info on our service: We offer a 4 or 5 night all inclusive stay at the customers choice of 5 star resorts. The customer must attend a 90 minute timeshare sales presentation during their stay in Mexico, Jamaica, or the Dominican Republic! The offer is good for Families where the adults are 30 to 65 years old. Offer is for $499 and includes 2 adults with up to 2 children under 13! I hope that this helps you get some ideas for what needs to be done. Perhaps a basic something that helps the site look sharper with plans to add to it in the near future. Near future being a few weeks! We get 500 visitors a day and don't seem to be converting the traffic to sales! We want to be a leader in this area and have some great ideas! We are forming a great team and want a great designer as part of the team! Please take a minute and send me a note that will impress me please... Please don't waste your time with some short message. The pictures below can be used or not used at all! I was trying to do this myself and that's just not working!